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JO.EX ROYAL.NAVY

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Sanity or vanity?
Articles Posted: 10  Links Seeded: 25
Member Since: 2/2011  Last Seen: 11/01/2011

My 40-most cringeworthy chat-uplines

Seeded on Thu Sep 1, 2011 12:21 PM EDT
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Seeded by Jo.ex royal.navy
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Be warned, use of these cheesy chat-up lines could seriously damage your love life… Here are the top ten, have a look at the rest, then, can you give your worse one?

1. “Is there an airport nearby; or is that just my heart taking off?”

2. “Hi I’m Mr Right, somebody said you were looking for me?”

3. “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

4. “Am I dead? Because I think I just met an angel.”

5. “Let’s make like fabric softener and snuggle.”

6. “Were you arrested earlier? It must be illegal to look that good.”

7. “Nice legs, what time do they open?”

8. “Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?”

9. “I've lost that loving feeling, will you help me find it again?”

10. “Hi the voices in my head told me to come talk to you.”

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Jo.ex royal.navy

Here are my top 40 baaaaad chat up lines. I would really like to have some others for my collection, so come on, let's see what you got for me.

Jo.

  • 5 votes
Reply#1 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 12:26 PM EDT
littlereddog

Hi Jo! I've been out of the dating scene for so long, I can't remember any successful pick up lines. But, I do remember a line that I got as a young waitress back in my 20s. "I'd like a sheep herders special - a slice of bread and a piece of ewe." Charming........

  • 4 votes
Reply#2 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 1:21 PM EDT
Jo.ex royal.navy

hahahahaha. K. That was really cool. I am about to set off for home, but will be around later.

Jo.xx

  • 3 votes
#2.1 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 1:28 PM EDT
Soph0571

LOL Excellent Jo. Unfortunately I never get chatted up. To much of a nerd!

  • 5 votes
#2.2 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:15 PM EDT
Jo.ex royal.navy

Soph. Unfortunately I never get chatted up.

Pinocchio has nothing on you!! Hahahahahahahah. I remember my big bash, they were like bees around the honey pot.

  • 5 votes
#2.3 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:25 PM EDT
Soph0571

they were like bees around the honey pot.

That is because they were interested in my views on socio economic conditions! LOLOL

  • 6 votes
#2.4 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:28 PM EDT
Jo.ex royal.navy

Soph That is because they were interested in my views on socio economic conditions!

I never thought I would find myself thinking this. but really, is that the best excuse you can think of? hahahahahahaha

  • 4 votes
#2.5 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:41 PM EDT
Reply
Baron von Steuben

lol at 39, 12 and 7. I will try those TONIGHT!

  • 3 votes
Reply#3 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:23 PM EDT
Jo.ex royal.navy

OK Baron. Hahahahaha Down Boy.

  • 4 votes
#3.1 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:28 PM EDT
Baron von Steuben

Sorry, sorry. I get a little excited whenever I learn new ways to impress the women folk. 12 is a sure winner!

  • 4 votes
#3.2 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:31 PM EDT
Reply
keep_it_cool

Oh no... lol.

  • 3 votes
Reply#4 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:39 PM EDT
Jo.ex royal.navy

So, come on then, lets hear your ideas. hahahahaha

  • 2 votes
#4.1 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:44 PM EDT
StevG-144

I'm late for the party again sorry, mornings have been killers. Never used pick up lines but once and it worked, "Can you believe the pickup lines these guys used. What was the last one that worked, so I know what to say'

  • 3 votes
#4.2 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 4:25 PM EDT
keep_it_cool

I don't pick people up. I can't help anyone. And as for picking me up.. the last person who complimented me on the street said I was beautiful, in which I replied- I don't smoke, so you can't bum one off me. :) I'm so jaded... It's just that these are kinda cheesy. I need a map cause I got lost in your eyes? Really???

Typically, a conversation can lead to things and if it's a cheesy pick up line, a shared laugh might help. But no one liner has ever won me over. And, I go out with a lot of guy-pals so it always looks like I'm with someone. I'm really no help though. I can't tell my buddies much 'cept- try something other than a bar. Like dance classes or some sort of social "event". Never got the gym. I don't think I want to be approached while I'm doing the things I gotta do at a gym. lol

This last weekend some guy was trying to "talk at me" and he introduced himself but I never got to hear his line because my drunk friend decided to tell him we were lesbians and I was her bitch. sigh... Since it was beer-thirty, I'm sure it would have been priceless. Of course, this was after seeing several dudes peeing on the side of the road and two young "ladies" having sex on a dirty dance floor. Designated driving can be entertaining.

The one my best friend always employed while we were young-

Nice shoes, wanna fvck?

  • 4 votes
#4.3 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 7:57 PM EDT
Reply
sky dog

33. Then again, I'm old enough that I would probably slip and say, "Pardon me, do you know how much you weigh?........"

I'll try to think one up...

  • 2 votes
Reply#5 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:42 PM EDT
Jo.ex royal.navy

sky dog. I'll try to think one up...

That's really sweet. xo

  • 2 votes
Reply#6 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 2:54 PM EDT
mstanley2265

Ok, back in the day, 'what's your sign' meaning Zodiac sign, 'Do you drink? I have a six pack'? Wanna go to the drivein, Gonzilla's on? 'But honey (sweetie etc) it's sooo hot, aren't you hot?" "Dad let me borrow the car, wanna go to BlueBerry Hill?"

  • 1 vote
Reply#7 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 3:09 PM EDT
lilgremlin

"Why don't you come over to my house? I'll cook you something nice and then, you know, we'll see what happens."

My sis has heard "Well a ring don't cover your hole!"

I've always loved "I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me tonight?"

And then there's always "Nice shoes. Wanna @!$%#?"

  • 2 votes
Reply#8 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 3:42 PM EDT
peapod

Here are my 2 never fail pickup lines.

Is your father a meat burglar? Because it looks like someone stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.

Is your father a baker? Because baby, you've got the finest buns in town.

  • 3 votes
Reply#9 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 3:47 PM EDT
Bad Fish

Are you from Ireland? Cause when I look at you my penis is Dublin.

my mom told me to never look at pretty girls because i will turn into a statue! In fact i can feel myself getting hard right now!

  • 6 votes
Reply#10 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 3:53 PM EDT
belle42

OK complete seriousness, I've only been "picked up" in a bar once, and I was engaged to be married at the time (I had the ring on backwards on purpose, naughty me). All he did was ask me to dance. So we did.

Yeah, boring life.

Of course there's the stories OUTSIDE of bars...like how my ex (when he was just a friend working at the same theatre I was) slipped me one of the condoms they used on the wireless microphones while I was standing around with my family. THAT got him a double take and an eye roll since I couldn't say much :)

  • 7 votes
Reply#11 - Thu Sep 1, 2011 7:08 PM EDT
Abby.

Lol!!

  • 3 votes
#11.1 - Fri Sep 2, 2011 4:29 AM EDT
js-445607

Want to come up and see my etchings

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

Do you want to see something swell?

Pick up lines are hilarious. But the rejections lines are even funnier sometimes like, "What's the matter, do I have bad breath or something"

  • 4 votes
#11.2 - Fri Sep 2, 2011 9:08 PM EDT
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